May I Borrow a Feeling?

Dating is fun. A lot of my friends don't like to date, but I always feel like the chase to get a girl to go out with you is some of the most fun you can have. It's kind of hard in LA, but it is do-able. After you get the girl, then the "relationship building" part comes. Not as fun. The thrill of the chase I say. I'm not a serial dater, but I like going on dates. So I've decided to post my favorite date story.

My stereo is missing from my car. It was stolen. As luck would have it, I had a date lined up for that week. We'll call her Laura M. No no, that's too obvious. L. Marcus*. So anyways, I had met here through a friend of a friend and we had set up a very casual date. Just drinks, nothing serious and we could see if maybe we would hit it off. I love meeting and getting to know new people so, it was going to be fun times. In my joy of her actually agreeing to go out with me, I told her I would pick her up.

Strike one.

Considering I had no stereo, I didn't want to pick her up and look at my car and wonder why it was getting broken into. In hindsight, it shouldn't have mattered because it would lead to a built in conversation, but I'm a guy. Enough said. So I had the fantastic idea of borrowing a car and coming up with a reason I wasn't driving my own car. That's where my friend C** came in. I asked to borrow his car. He shockingly said OK, because he wasn't going out that night and just to have the car back in his spot in the morning. Success! It was on like ping pong on Friday night.

I pick L. up at her house and we're off. Its around 9 so it's late drinks and we went to a relaxed wine bar on our side of town.

Strike two

I like wine, I like drinking wine, but for the uninitiated, if you're not used to drinking wine it can get you royally frosted (N.Y. slang for drunk). Well, lets keep that in mind. We went out for drinks, were having fun, talking and laughing and what not. Now in this bar, its pretty dark. Not totally dark, but enough that if you're sitting across from someone you can't really tell their eye color, if that makes sense. We're at the bar for a couple hours, I had fun, I'm sure she had fun and we're getting ready to leave. Now once we get outside we have a serious problem. She's drunk. Hammered. Gonzo.

Strike three

OK, maybe I messed up in not being able to tell she was getting a little buzzed at the bar, but she is one of those people where you can have a serious conversation with them and they sound fine. You know those people. You all have friends like that. I know you do. It's not my fault. So continuing on, she's having a hard time standing and we get to the car and she just slumps down right in the passenger seat. Uh Oh. I'm being cool, keeping it cool and ask if she's OK, She says yes and we're off. Now the ride home was about 4 minutes. As we start moving she says " I don't feel good". Uh Oh. Now I'm trying to get her home like a madman, but I hit a red light. Game over.

She opens the door and proceeds to throw up. Now this would be great if she got all the vomit out of the car. She didn't.

Strike four

So now there's puke in the car and did I mention? ITS NOT MY CAR! So I'm trying to be cool and not freak out. I tell her to stick her head out the window and I'm driving through residences at about 80 with all the windows down. That must have looked great. Drunk girl, head out the window, all the windows down, guy driving like he's on fire. I'm surprised no one called the cops.

So I get her home and she's having a hard time getting her keys in the lock. So I decide to help her. She tells me its the silver one. Yeah, that was awesome because they were all silver. Finally get the door open, find her bedroom and basically threw her in bed. She tried apologizing, but I was halfway out the door because vomit was fermenting in the car. I drive to the nearest gas station and at least try to get some of it out, but its all in the crevices and just nasty. Somehow I need to get this car back in C's spot in the morning without him noticing that some girl was making street pizza all in his car.

First thing in the morning I go to the carwash to get it detailed. I look at the clock and I'm good. He hasn't called we're almost done, I am going to get away with this. "ring" Whoops. C calls and is freaked out. He doesn't know where his car is. Well that was silly because it was with me. So I right there had to explain why I was at the car wash. Needless to say it didnt go well. Moral of the story - Don't borrow anyone's car if someone is going to throw up in it.

* Neither of those names are real
** If you think C is his real name, we need to chat

TV Watch

As my new blog friend Martini pointed out, yesterday was Beauty and the Geek night. And someone needs to get Dave his own show. The guy is hilarious. This week they needed to rap and Dave decided he was going to become a LARPer (Live Action Role Player) and rap like that person would. Hilarity was ensuing. He was saying boop,boop,beep,beep or something like that and when they came down to announce which two teams were going to the elimination room he wore a cape and t shirt. Awesome. Top 5 Dave moments from last night.

5. Covering himself up at the pool when he saw Sam the male "beauty"
4.Telling his teammate she was last on his list of preferred partners
3. Saying the rap challenge was. Worst. Challenge. Ever
2. Wearing a cape to the elimination announcments
1. Becoming a LARPer so he could rap.

So Amanda (girl that wants to be in Playboy) and Tony (geek with the bowtie) were sent home along with Amanda's teddy bear which she used for luck in elimination. I'll end with the wise wisdom of Sam.

"I would tell them to stop. Just stop being geeks."